An astrologer friend of mine told me many years ago the sign of a true guru was their emotional stability in the face of all life’s challenges, their ability not to react emotionally. I am thus not able to claim guru status since I am quite emotional when it comes to specific challenges. We are all at varying levels of emotional health, with some people tending more towards guru composure while others are consistently challenged with emotional melt downs and dramas. While some of us bury our emotions in the oceanic depths of our being, others wear their emotions openly on their sleeve. I propose, however, we all carry a degree of emotional baggage, and experience times of mixed emotions.
Psychologists tell us our emotional imprint occurs between the time we are born and the age of seven. If this is so, we are quite helpless when it comes to our ability to filter the incoming from our emotional environment. If our surroundings at this time provide us with calm, kind and loving sensory input that makes us feel seen, safe and secure, we are more likely to mature emotionally with a healthy degree of self-worth, trust and confidence in riding emotional waves. If, on the other hand, we are raised in a turbulent, abusive or fearful atmosphere, we may be destined to become our own worst enemy full of doubt with an inability to feel safe within ourselves or in the presence of others. We have only to witness our personal dramas and stories as they unfold, and often repeat, for keys to our past. Since we human beings are imperfect, all here to grow and learn, we become the recipients of our parent’s and family’s imperfections. Further, since most of us become parents, we are likely to repeat these imperfections ourselves as parents. It takes a keen self-awareness, the need to “know thyself”, an ability to step back and connect with our own emotions before we blindly inflict our imprinted, negative emotional patterns onto our children. Many of us find we must traverse upon a path of forgiveness and acceptance before we can emotionally embrace a new way of being.
There has been considerable attention over the years on emotional health versus intelligence. Some propose the stability of our emotions is far more important than our intelligence quota. We can be gifted with a very high IQ only to find ourselves emotionally sabotaging the life we want. While there is a great amount of focus on physical and mental talent in our youth, the emotional realm remains obscure. Though we attribute the role of the family for the success of emotional health, there is not only an increasing breakdown in the family structure, but a lack of support and guidance in our society at large for navigating the emotions. With divorce, broken families, single parenting and domestic violence at an all time high, most children and parents are challenged with emotional wounding. While trained counselors and psychologists can offer assistance, the journey towards emotional healing for many is often a lonely, hard road.
In truth, we are all walking wounded. We all have a story, and many of us share the emotional wounds from loss, illness, divorce and abuse. The emotional realm can often be experienced as a huge tidal wave in which we fear drowning. Yet, we must learn to ride this wave of emotion. Life presents us with every possible distraction in which we can successfully avoid the necessity to ride this wave. Inevitably, unresolved and buried emotions are energy that have a way of finding release and expression, often unexpectedly and unpleasant. It is in our best interest to seize the moment when an opportunity arises for us to heal our anger, sorrow, jealousy, frustration, conflict or other negative emotion. We can talk to a counselor or friend, read a book on the topic, take time off from work, spend time in nature, do a vision quest or whatever calls us. The simple, yet effective, time spent in contemplation allows us to peel the protective layers away, and often reveals an emotional wound which once confronted, loses its charge and hold on us. Most of our emotional wounds are imprints from the past which not only do not belong to us, but no longer serve us. When we consciously send these wounds love and light, we free the negative emotions surrounding these wounds to become positive.
Healing our emotional baggage is not a quick fix. I have found it best to gratefully accept my wounding as an ongoing opportunity to continue growing and learning, though I do not always do this gracefully. I have a sense when my emotional baggage is becoming carry on only because I feel lighter and more joyful. Though some of us may be persistent and successful at healing old wounds, the current state of our world is cause for ongoing mixed emotions. We are riding great waves of change on the planet now. Almost every sector of living is in need of balance, reform and new vision from education to relationships to the environment and energy. Change is a powerful trigger for the emotions, especially mixed emotions. Do I leave him, or do I stay? Do I move here, or move there? Do I take this job, or take that job? Under the influence of change, mixed motions are operating at their finest. The stress of mixed feelings requires us to slow down, be still, be patient and wait for clarity. When we are feeling torn by choices and decisions, the tear is usually attached to a past emotion that is surfacing for review. The gift to heal is found in our willingness to feel our feelings, and trust the clarity of what we feel will guide us to positive emotions rather than remaining stuck in negativity. The mind wants certainty, yet we can never really be certain about anything. We can though feel positive, hopeful, optimistic, grateful and these feelings are good fuel for the outcome we desire. When we are able to embrace the positive in every situation, we send that good vibration out into the Universe where like a boomerang, it comes back to us. New doors begin to open through which we effortlessly walk. Dragonfly says it is our destiny to master the murky, emotional waters of life wherein we are constantly molting and shedding skin of the past. The shedding of our emotional layers will ultimately lift us to a higher vibration whereby we become a messenger of light.
I would like to share this passage from the Gene Keys called The Stilling Of The Wave.
Richard Rudd states:
“Some of the most radical changes to humanity will concern the emotional system itself. Presently human beings are victims of the whims of their emotions. Their decisions are out of harmony with their true nature, creating a collective energy field of chaos. As the mutation takes hold, what we now call emotion will have a completely different role. It will no longer be experiences as emotion at all. It will be a means of communication. The people in whom this mutation manifests will not be caught in the emotional drama of life. They will still feel every single nuance of the emotional environment deep within their bodies, but their awareness will ride on top of these waves instead of bring lost within them. The result is that they will feel extremely calm, and one of the ways in which they will be recognized is through the peacefulness in their eyes”.
We perceive the world through our senses. Our sensitivity to what we perceive reflects our emotional being. Somewhere in between the fear of riding the wave, and too afraid to leave the beach, is a sensitive clarity of what feels right for us. Our emotional healing brings the gift of being in our joy and peace no matter what we do. Dragonfly tells us the healing gift of our emotions gives us wings for the freedom to be fully human. Our humanitarian world is waiting for us.