Remember how often you cried as a child? Maybe not, since most adults have left their childish ways far behind which, unfortunately, includes crying about things that hurt. I am not implying as adults now we should still be shedding tears every time we fall down, bump our head or someone bullies us, but I am implying that as adults, our tears are still important. We watch our small children indulge in a river of tears over what may appear to us as small and insignificant, yet we cannot forget they are learning how to cope with painful experiences. The magic of tears is that once children have allowed them to flow, their painful energy moves quickly and is restored to calm. In fact, within a matter of only a few minutes, their painful tears appear to be long forgotten. Not only is this a testimony to the cosmic design intended for us to be joyful beings, but to the power of transformation through this river of tears.
There are many different tears shed by babies, and I found these differences astonishing as a young mother. There are the tears of tiredness, the tears of teething, the tears of hunger, the tears of wet diapers, the tears of illness, the tears of pain, the tears of separation, the tears of laughter and all sorts of other mysterious tears. Our baby’s tears are a means of communication long before any words are uttered. We have to listen for the language being spoken through their tears if we want to understand and know what they need.
I notice now a variety of different tears among adults. I have friends who cry over every little thing, friends who work hard to hold back any tears, friends who are embarrassed to cry, friends who sob appropriately, and inappropriately, and friends who never shed a tear. The many characteristics of how we cry probably, like everything else about our unique self, goes back to the reaction or response from our parents to our tears as children. And while we could analyze this down to the bone, I think for most adults tears have become an underrated tool for transformation and healing emotional grief.
There is much to grieve in our world today as adults: everything from bombs dropping on innocent children and women, the destruction of our rain forests, the extinction of animal species, toxic soil and water, injustice, corruption, deception and more. Not to mention the grief in our own personal stories of divorce, illness and loss. The question becomes where does all this grief go? Well, without a good cry or some other healthy response to move and process grief, it does not go anywhere. It can stay stuck and trapped as the energy of grief within the energetic field of our bodies, and ultimately disrupt our balance, health and peace. Perhaps those frequent tears shed by children have something to teach us.
I love, and need, a good cry. It is cleansing to my whole being like a summer rain or a swim in the ocean. Tears are healing. Yet, it seems tears have been confined by conditioned beliefs to their own world of privacy. When I see a woman wail with tears over the unnecessary loss of life, I am so deeply grateful for her raw courage and tearful communication which returns me to my heart. Some may believe tears are a sign of weakness, but I feel they are a sign of immense strength and love. I think most women in this world dream of being able to cry with the man they love, for their tears are a deep expression of longing which is so often judged and misunderstood. Many men are not capable of handling a woman’s tears for the shedding of tears has long been conditioned out of them.
I wonder what the world would be like if tears could freely fall without judgement. As humanity moves now through this time of great change, I have no doubt there will be an ocean of tears upon the awakening to all the truth that has been hidden from us in our sleep. Perhaps our healing tears, not our anger and fear, will help carry us through to a better world. Perhaps the miracle transformation through the river of tears is a gift our children have been waiting for us to receive for a long time.
I have attached a poignant article below with good insights for managing global grief.
Global Grief- Awakening and Transformation
by Sam Welsby
“Grief is the price we pay for love” read the inscription on the memorial. It struck a chord of sadness within me as I remembered all I have loved and lost in my life. Some of these losses were more painful than others but each pushed me into a cycle of grief beginning with denial, followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. These stages, highlighted by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross in her book “On Death and Dying”, are common to all of us although some of us never reach the final stage of acceptance because the rush of feeling that follows is too much to bear. Instead we live in denial, anger takes up residence within us, we try and hold on to what we know in our hearts we have lost and then fall into a depression to protect us from the pain. This process isn’t linear and we may cycle through it for years when dealing with the death of a loved one or loss of a relationship. Other losses may involve a less arduous cycle yet we still go through the same process when something is taken from us and we feel out of control.
Denial vs Acceptance
Even the perception of loss can begin this process. If we don’t want to face the possibility of losing our job or relationship we may start living in denial as a way to prevent the inevitable. This can often be confused with acceptance as both can make us feel better, but when we are in denial we hold on to the past and when we are in acceptance we move on. We can see this when we go through different life stages and grieve for our lost youth, freedom or health. During a mid-life crisis we try to relive our earlier years instead of embracing the next phase of our lives because age and experience are not revered by our society. Yet each time we go through a change and grieve for a loss we fill the well of wisdom within us that we draw upon to help us grow.
Unfortunately, growth isn’t easy and many of us prefer to stay in the bargaining stage, making deals with ourselves or giving away our integrity. How many of us have stayed in a job we hate until we get our pay rise or put up with unhealthy dynamics in our relationship because we want to believe one day things will change? There is safety in the familiar, even if it is painful, but It is our ego that prefers the comfort of the known as fear, self-protection and control are its driving forces. Yet our souls need new experiences and long to be free, so we can’t bargain with our spirit for too long. If we try we are likely to become depressed because we refuse to make the changes needed to evolve, which is our purpose in life. However, we often hinder our progress by making changes on a superficial level. A new car may distract us from feeling old but until we accept the loss of our youth we will be inherently unhappy.
Depression experienced during a grieving cycle is a natural part of the process, it slows us down so we can heal our wounds and replenish ourselves. Medicating this type of depression is commonplace yet it helps us suppress, rather than deal with, the depression that comes with loss. Depression can also be a sign that we need to make a change and if we allow ourselves to heed its call we can think of it as a catalyst rather than something to be avoided. If grief is allowed to follow its natural flow it is cleansing, healing and liberating. When we reach acceptance and are willing to let go we often feel a rush of freedom and excitement at what is possible, as we are no longer carrying around the burden of the past.
The grieving process is intrinsically linked with change and if we broaden our perspective we can see that humanity as a whole is going through a global cycle of grief to accompany the crumbling of our comfortable old worldview. We move through the different stages as more of the imbalance and injustice in our society is revealed, each layer catalyzing another wave of people into awakening. As we grieve the loss of our innocence the whole world is thrown into turmoil as some fight against the inevitable change and some embrace it. We may stumble and lose our footing falling back into denial but we are moving forward as a collective, each one of us at our own pace. Remember, the life we want is always tapping us on the shoulder if only we would turn our heads.
Here’s to conscious evolution.
About the Author
Sam Welsby is a teacher of conscious evolution, freelance writer, social activist and healer helping people bridge the gap between their physical and spiritual selves. She offers guidance on how to navigate the catalyzing energies of change through her articles, personal healing sessions and mentoring programs. Her healing techniques help people to release emotional trauma on multiple levels, so they can live life with clarity and purpose.
Through a practical approach of grounding spirit into physical reality, she teaches people to be their own gurus and supports them in taking inspired action to create the life they want. For information on how you can you can work with Sam, please visit www.samwelsby.com.